Empty Soul

a switchboard in my head
measures out who I'll be
emotions rage in cups
with pinches of spice and fire
and tablespoons of ice

when men cry
it feels like heavy weights
are falling from the eyes
the soul is a cup of water
and tears are drops that overflow
exposing the heart underneath

some moments are clear
like perfect ice on a lake
you can see everything
other moments foggy
none of the lines match
two halves do not make a whole

the switchboard master changes
as fast as light can go
one master for each moment
splintered fragments of time
like shattered ice
my frozen soul
in pieces

stabbing pains and soothing warmth
each director has a path
the destination unclear
wavering this way, tilting there
like a drunk weaving
through crowds of memories
and dreams

if only once a choice was made
a goal was written in stone
my soul would rest in the bowl
rather than freezing, shattering,
wavering, wandering,
or dying all alone

Is It Love?

That moment of silence

Right after goodnight

And right before you leave

It is a hole in the heart for both of you

Wondering, waiting

Do I say it first?

A breath of fresh air it would be to speak

But what if it isn’t real?

If all of this is just imagined

Feelings?

Do you know?

Who will be the first to say

I love you?

Remember, Remember

A dark

Despairing

Black

Pool

You are drowning

A tall

Steep

Depressing

Cliff

You are falling

A blind

Angry

Frightening

Darkness

You are lost

Waiting for the rope

Hoping to be caught

Praying for a Savior

A strong

Lasting

Enduring

Rope

You are saved

A thick

Knotted

Beautiful

Net

You are alive

A loving

Warm

Enveloping

Hug

You remember

There is more to this life

Than to fail

You have a chance

Photograph

You know

when you see

a perfect photograph

The contrast

Your skin

Flawless

Everything

Your makeup

The eyes

All of the color

Makes you

Beautiful

You see that picture

With envy

And longing

To be the person

Inside

And the realization

Is sad

When you see

The perfect person

Skinny

Beautiful

That’s you

Inside

The person you want to be

Sometimes The Heart Is Cruel

Sometimes the heart is cruel

Falling into love at the drop of a hat

And breaking

Just as quickly.

Yearning after that someone

That hurt it once before

But you forgave

Anyway.

Sometimes the heart is cruel,

Ignoring the mind’s plea for mercy

And going on,

Only to get hurt once more,

Knowing no fear,

But that of being

Alone.

Sometimes the heart is cruel,

Pleading with the mind

For someone- anyone!

To take away

The unbearable loneliness.

To find the one

That will be there

Always

Credit to Holly Black

Just Look

Expressions as fleeting

As a freak thunderstorm

Fly across my face

While I savor them

Deeply

Inside.

Not given to judgment,

Or instant dislike,

But she

Just rubs me

The wrong

Way.

A constant irritant,

Prone to

Contradictions,

Making my poor

Head

Ache.

Anger flares,

A strange feeling,

But soon gone,

Leaving me empty,

Once

More.

Only to be reminded

Of the pain left behind

The next day

When it happens

Again

And again.

The only thing I ask

Is a

constant.

Why can’t she

Just

Look? 

Credit to Holly Black

Fish Out Of Water

Floundering
A fish in air
Cannot breathe
The same is said
For me

My air is love

I breathe in hugs

To speak I give

But what am I to do

When deprived?

What is the answer?
Sugar and sweet

Help me forget

The need to breathe

For a moment or two

When I am sad,

I suffocate
The air-it isn't
Tangible

It feels as though

I am drowning

Where I am not a fish

The sea is full of color

I cannot appreciate

The color all around me

Is like the air I breathe

It exists, but I cannot tell

To open my eyes

I burn my lungs

So even though
The air is there

I suffocate

Like a fish

Out of water