Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Oppression


I keep on bleeding junk
The kind that has no name
Yet
Emotions
Bleeding red as blood
So many things
Too many
Overwhelming

Little things make it worse
Not writing
Not doing
All these “not”
Like knots in hair
That never come out
No matter how hard
You pull

It’s like the word “hate”
For me it doesn’t mean
Hate
It usually means
Strong dislike
Frustration.
Lately I hate everything
I even hate music-
My one true and lasting love
The thing that gets me through everything.

People would ask
Hey how are you?
My answer changed
For a time I was
Good!
Exclamation point and all
Happy
Fun
Wonderful.
Then I was
Sad
Frustrated
Confused
Simply “bleh”
Now I’m
A lot

I can’t decide what I am
It hurts so much
As I writhe in pools of pain
I keep trying to avoid more pain
The despair is endless

I want to be
Perfect